I have already admitted to myself and everyone that I am a hateful kinda person, so if anyone reads this, they can save their time discovering it :)
Today was my second day at work. Yesterday was obviously first, and I came home and got down with a fuckin fever. Ofcourse, well wishers recommended a doctor, which would've been a tremendous waste of time and money. I am pretty sure that I have already had the same exact symptoms a  thousand times before, so its not like all of a sudden I started developing some rare crap that would get me into Guinness book of shit. Yeah, its a flu...a fever and body ache. So, I sucked it up and went to work, pumping myself with Asspirin. But, sitting in my own personal hell at the computer, with body turning to vegetable jello, wasn't nearly as bad as...listening to two horrid middleaged bitches talk...no, SHOUT...to each other from their troths. One was actually only 2 years older than me, but she smelled like personal problems with men and ignorance (yes, I WILL hate you if you don't know what an orchid is), so...lets be fair here. The convos rotated around loud announcements like "I hate you if you don't bring me popcorn, my booty needs that popcorn!" (trust me, it DOESNT), playfully insulting the boss in a loud voice, etc.  I am perfectly capable of hating a person if I don't like their manners or voice. I know, maybe its a flaw of some sort, but I can't help it, now can I? I was sweating, I was being dizzy, and I subjected myself to gallons of verbal diarrhea. At some point the older pig swore about something very loudly, and then in an equally ear drum shattering voice apologized for corrupting me. laughing. No worries, I've heard those words before, and I am silently applying them to you in my head. Thank Geebus this is my last week working in the morning, and I can get back to working the night shift.

Gone Fishin'

Let me confess to you, baby, kneeling down on my knee
No, I'm just kiddin, but I know that's where you want me to be.
I didn't listen to my gut feeling like I knew that I shoulda
Went fishing for a goldfish, and caught a barracuda

Your fine ass clouded my mind, and I was always horny
But, like a pack of cigs, you shoulda came with a government warning
Cause you are one deadly bitch, like emphyzema or cancer,
And I just pray to God that one day he'll make you answer.

Like when I come home sick and tired late at night from work,
And you just throw in front of my face a can of fried beans and pork.
I bust my ass off all day, tryin to put food on the table,
But all you do is spread your drama on the phone while watchin cable.

You get jealous, but I realize that to you I'm just your turf
Cause my balls are so blue, I could be a Smurf.
But every time I wanna do it, you pick up that damn phone
I am not a dog, but once in a while I need my bone.

All my friends are gone cause they were scared of your wrath;
How the hell did I let myself go down that path?
I don't need alot,and Lord knows I'm not picky,
But if you keep makin this mess, the situation might get sticky.

Lookin back a few years ago, even before the marriage
You were hotter than Cinderella in her golden carriage.
But I have no idea what exactly went wrong down the road:
You've turned from a princess back into a toad.

Don't think I'll let you drag me thru hell for a piece of ass,
I won't let you make me a pawn in your game of chess.
Ass and tits don't mean nothin to me anymore, and you will see:
I will catch plenty other better fish in the sea.

I know you'll try to squeeze out some tears and change your tone,
And say you realize that you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.
But I've heard it all before, and your game is not what life's all about,
So I'll just take my fishin rod and get the hell out.

Hookerz

I close my eyes
Only for a moment, and the hooker's gone
All my cash
Pass before my eyes, a curiosity

Whores In Detroit
You can't trust a whore in Detroit
Whores in Detroit
You can't trust a whore in detroit

Same old bitch
I knew I shouldnt trust a woman built as me
Six foot two, with adam's apple bulge
But I refused to see

Whores In Detroit
You can't trust a whore in Detroit
Whores in Detroit
You can't trust a whore in detroit


She said "Just hang on"
I gotta freshen up before I suck your dick
Then slipped away
Before I realized that it was just a dirty trick

Whores In Detroit
You can't trust a whore in Detroit
Whores in Detroit
You can't trust a whore in detroit

Now I am broke,
Maybe next time I should really get a life
Or just go home
And do it with my eyes closed with my ugly wife

Apple (whole)

"This is the best apple I've ever had". He plunged his incisors into a thin red waxy skin, piercing it with a crisp popping sound and letting a stream of sweet juice run down his chin and drip onto his shirt. She looked up and smiled, revealing a perfect row of even ivory teeth. This sent shivers down his spine, and he felt hairs stand on the back of his neck. There was something about that smile that made him uneasy. With semi squinting icy grey eyes unchanged by the smile and transfixed on him in a way a predator might eye its prey, it was primal and cold, almost animalistic.

All of a sudden, there was nothing. With a vertigo-like sensation of a failing vestibular system, a blanket of darkness fell over his eyes, immersing him into a complete and perfect nothingness, his brain buzzing with electrical connections going haywire. Unable to be supported by weakened joints, his limp body slowly folded onto the ground.

***********

When John woke up, he was laying in his bed on top of the covers, with his pants and shirt still on. Wow, what a strange dream this was- so realistic and bizarre. Stretching achingly, he ran his tongue along his dry lips and noticed something strange: his lips were sticky and sweet. Tracing the trail of stickiness with his tongue, John felt a trickle of dried substance running down from his mouth all the way to the chin. Apple juice! He realized in complete bewilderment. Trying to collect his thoughts, he could not figure out whether or not that event has actually happened, or if he was plunged into some alternate ethereal world in which the fantasy and reality has blended into one, creating immense confusion in his brain.

*************

He tried to replay in his mind the meeting with this strange woman, to pull up from his memory bank the way she looked at him when he took a bite of that apple: her animalistic cold eyes and a carnivorous smile that lifted the corners of her mouth in such a mysterious yet conspiratory way. He clearly remembered every second of that occurrence, her every gesture and sound, but any memory previous to that moment was completely erased from his brain, and no matter how hard he tried, he just could not recall where and under which circumstances he could have met her. He could not tell whether this was a dream or reality, and having only the mild physical evidence of this event taking place to confirm the latter, this amnesia was not surprising whatsoever. Whether or not it happened, he knew he wanted to see her again, to smell that exotic aroma of sandalwood and vanilla mixed in with some unknown to him spices, to have those wild eyes glare at him again, revealing the fire glowing deep inside.

However he also realized that the odds of that happening were very slim, since he had no idea whether or not she was intent on coming back, especially if it indeed was just a dream.


In a shower, J realized how much his mind was preoccupied with this nocturnal event after forgetting to wash shampoo out of his hair and letting water pound on his skin while standing immersed in a hypnotizing daze. When he came to senses, he quickly got out and started wiping his body with a towel, trying to clear his mind of these obsessive, nagging thoughts. Being on and off in this feeling of slow motion, he got to work late, just as he was afraid. Trying to pass the inquisitive looks of co-workers and feeling the mental burn of this walk of shame down the row of cubicles, he rushed to his desk, shuffling papers and frantically coughing to create some sort of a busy atmosphere to distract the vultures. Surely this will give them some food for thought during the lunch break; maybe some behind the curtains talk about his supposed ongoing drinking, drug, or gambling problem, or perhaps his problems with a female of any sort. Getting frustrated at a mere thought of someone laundering his life like a bad mid-day TV special and getting their jollies on at his expense, he proceeded to his daily routine.


All of a sudden, with a corner of his eye, he caught a figure standing in the entrance of the cubicle. Turning his head, he dreadfully recognized Laura, a major office gossiper that sensed people's troublesome minds and demons like a shark senses a drop of blood in the middle of an ocean, feeding off the feedback she could get from others from exposing these demons. Seeing her stand there with her arms folded on her chest and her legs crossed while leaning sideways on a wall was a clear indicator that something set off her radar. John despised this creature with all his heart, and today for some reason he felt the rage coming up like warm bile up his throat, clouding his mind and making his eyes narrow in a defensive mode. "Yes?", he asked in an irritated tone. "You know, J, this is the third time you are late, is everything OK? I don't mean to sound intrusive, but if you want to share...". Yeah, right; he would be more likely to dive into a pool filled with hungry piranhas before giving her a chance to bloviate over even minute issues he might have had. And especially his nocturnal encounter. "No, I'm fine", he said cutting her off and momentarily enjoying a look of sudden disappointment on her face. Touche, he thought.

**************

She gave him one more a time a condescending look, which he accepted with great pleasure and even a hint of a smile, since it meant that her feeding pattern was disrupted by his refusal cave in and give her material to gloat about for the rest of the day. After a brief moment of shock and disappointment, she straightened out and walked out of his cubicle, finially giving him personal space to go back to his daily routine and occupy his mind with yet another thought of what happened that night. He started guessing who the strange woman was again, jumping from one idea to another: a ghost perhaps? Or maybe he was drugged and somehow she took advantage of him by altering his mind and making him see all those things? That did not make any sense since he knew that he did not go anywhere , and clearly remembered going to bed for good. He rubbed his face with palms of his hands in an attempt to clear his mind and body of unwanted thoughts and skin cells, and decided to wait and see how things would play out the oncoming night. This decision did not go as planned, and even after taking a refreshing walk in a corporate park around the lake during the lunch hour and several trips to the bathroom to douse his face with cold water to take things off his mind, he found himself moping around restlessly, waiting for the day to come to an end so he could go home. He knew exactly what he would be waiting for with anticipation. He really wanted this woman to appear again, but this time he was to be fully prepared for the encounter. So many questions were to be asked, and he was already planning them out in his mind.
Who was she? How did she get there? He wanted to see her again, and this time he was hoping to come in physical contact with her, to touch that perfect face and body, and inhale the intense aroma that still haunted his mind. Being completely unproductive, he sat in a stupor for about 20 minutes in front of a monitor, until finally snapping out of it as if someone switched his mind back on.

Finally, as the clock was getting close to 5pm, he became even more restless and antsy, putting away unfinished paperwork and twisting in his swivel chair. He heard the movement and shuffling outside of his cubicle, and interpreted it as a sign that he can finally get out of there as fast as possible. Picking up his belongings, he swiftly got up and darted out, trying to beat the oncoming traffic of equally restless coworkers escaping their square shaped cells. On a way out, he passed The Bitch. She was standing by her cubicle and chatting with another office harpy, most likely about the rudeness he unleashed upon her and possible causes of said mental state he was in. As he walked by, they both gave him a glare, and he knew that indeed he was probably the topic of their heated discussion. But right now, he didn't care. Getting into his car, he remembered again the reason for his rushing, but realized that most likely the woman wouldn't visit him until night time, if she ever will. In order to make time go by a little faster, he decided to occupy himself until that moment comes and stopped at a grocery store to get some snacks to accompany the movie he was going to watch. Moving from one isle to another and staring at colorful labels and images, he felt his stomach grumble as a reminder that he needed something to fill it up with besides a stale honey bun he has eaten for lunch at work. He was not an impuslive shopper, and always knew exactly what he was going to get- partially in order to avoid extra time spent among rushing housewives on cell phones and noisy kids throwing tantrums, and partially because he was not a big eater in general. But today he felt somehow different, and he could not resist grabbing everything that his heart called for at the moment. Regretting not taking a shopping cart at the entrance, he loaded his hands with several bags of potato chips, a frozen pepperoni pizza, a jar of peanut butter and jelly, and a box of glazed doughnuts. Almost dropping some items, he dragged himself to the checkout and unloaded them onto a moving conveyor belt. Leaving the store, he felt a relief and anticipation of the feast he was going to have, almost taking his mind off the original thought that was preoccupying his mind.

*******************

When he finally got home, he threw off his shoes and plopped on a couch in front of a tv. He put the pizza in the oven, opened a bag of potato chips, and put in a movie that he rented a night before. He was not a food connoseur, and potato chips were one of his weaknesses, but right now they tasted exceptionally wonderful. Like a hungry lion in a savannah after catching a prey, he was stuffing one chip after another in his mouth, barely chewing them all up, and almost choking on smaller pieces. He was amazed at the extreme sense of satisfaction he was getting from these salty crunchy discs, and after wiping greasy hands on his work shirt, he continued to shove them into his mouth until there was almost nothing left. After shaking out the crumbs from the bag into his mouth, he crumpled it up and threw it in the trash. Finally, the timer on the oven set off, indicating that the second part of his feast was about to start. Smelling the pizza, he got a sense of confusion-his stomach felt quite full from a jumbo bag of potato chips, yet his mind still craved more and more food to be consumed. Taking the oven mitt off the hook, he slowly opended the oven door, carefully removed the pizza, and set in on a table top. Impatiently, he cut it into slices and took the biggest one, as if anyone would possibly compete with him for this privelege later on. Not even waiting for it to cool, he took a large bite of pizza, burning his palate in process.

****************

He swore and spit the pizza out in the trash. Learning from a previous mistake, he now placed it to cool off on a plate, and started chugging from a 2 Liter bottle of Pepsi. Finally, making sure he gave it enough time, he picked up the pizza and took another bite. And another; and another. Sloppily chewing greasy melted cheese and letting the oil run down his chin, he looked at the box. There were 5 more slices left, and although he genuinely enjoyed it at the moment, there was no way that he could have finished all this food. After inhaling the slice, he reached for another one. This time he did not feel extreme anticipation before eating; on a contrary, he was quite full and could barely take another bite. Glancing at an almost full pizza box, he let out a sigh, still holding a limp slice of pizza dripping oil on the floor and, finally making a decision, he flung the leftover slice into the garbage. After cleaning himself off, John put in the movie that he got into a DVD player, and started his viewing.

The dinner plunged John into a food coma, and before he knew it, he was slumped over on a couch, with a movie still playing.

Night has spread its wings across the land,
Like a blackbird sweeping through the sky.
Walking with the darkness hand in hand,
I can't see, no matter how I try


Branches brush against my skin like claws,
Broken tree stumps try to make me fall
In this dark the danger quietly grows,
But I have to move towards the call.


As the time goes by, my eyes adjust.
Slowly, shadows starting to appear.
In my sense of vision now I trust,
I can tell the edge of the ravine is near

Walls of trees are now becoming sparse,
Moon can reach the ground through the tops.
Like a solitaire surrounded by stars

Moon

I am looking at the sky. Fractured by the feathered clouds

Floating by like opal orange ice caps through a purple ocean,

Tattered edges reveal slivers of a glowing disc,

Lighting up the cosmos many miles away.

Like ancient longboats they slowly move in order,

Same calm pace, same distance in between;

Slowly, the last night cloud passes by,

Exposing a full moon that was hiding behind them.

Birch Tree

birch tree, I see you stand all alone
In a clearing, so far removed from others.
You strive to belong in the woods with them,
To be among your sisters and your brothers

But strong roots keep holding you down to the ground,
All you can do is tilt your head and flail your arms
Hoping they will see your struggle, come to you,
But they are attached as well, and can't abandon their realms


As days and nights go by, you hear them whisper in the wind.
You want to share your dreams at night, and celebrate beginnings of each day;
But distance is too big, and they can't hear;
You look at them with tired eyes, and quietly wonder what they say

The day is coming to an end,
The clearing and the forest stand in the dark
Your green head is tilted down, you feel defeat,
And clear bitter sap is running down your bark.

You fall asleep and see the dreams
Of standing in the woods, with theirs your branches intertwine.
You feel the wind caress your leaves,
And bring your soul a little closer to divine.

At night the clouds gather 'round
And bring their wrath upon the woods.
The gusts of wind assault you from all sides
Making you hold to the ground by your roots.

And finally you realize that thats your dream;
As nature's power rocks you back and forth
The forceful wind picks up your slender trunk,
And you let go of wet and darkened earth.

The rain is gone, the air is crisp and fresh,
The sun extends its rays, it brings serenity at last
It cuts through darkness with its beams,
the raindrops lay like jewels on the grass

The spot where your roots were once attached
Now vacant, chunks of earth stick out like mangled flesh
Your body now is laying on the ground,
The wounds that storm inflicted are still fresh

Your branches now caress their trunks,
The happiness you never felt before.
The sap so sweet, like tears of joy,
Are dripping down onto the forest floor.

You hear their call, and you respond,
Those whispers finally make sense.
You realize that its your last breath of fresh air, but you know
That you'll forever be among your friends